2:45 a.m: The little furnace next to me is radiating so much heat that it wakes me up. I take his temperature again. 104.8. I run down stairs and mentally prepare myself for overloading my child's kidneys and liver with ANOTHER dose of ibuprofen or acetaminophen.
3:30 : Finally the fever breaks.
5:30 : Kaleb seems hungry and willing to eat and drink so I feed him some applesauce with cheese and water; satisfied, he and I dose back asleep.
8:00: Kaleb and Keagan are playing with the train set. I know that I have only have a short window to nourish Kaleb before he will no longer have an appetite as the medication wears off.
I taste the batter as the pan is going into the oven. No sugar, I forgot the sugar. Although muffins rank next to candy in Kaleb's mind, I am fairly confident that he wouldn't eat a whole wheat sugarfree blueberry muffin. I dump each muffin wrappers back into the bowl.
8:10: Right now is probably not an ideal time to be putting Kaleb in underwear, nevertheless, I'm not backing down. I change his underwear, clean up the spill and set him on the toilet.
8:15 : I stir in the sugar.
9:30: We've already gone through four pair of undies this morning. I set Kaleb back on the toilet.
10:30: I tell Keagan what I never wanted to hear myself say in all my days: "Go watch a movie." I hold Kaleb until his fever breaks again.
11:30: This is the second nice day we've had so far this year. I am determined not to spend it inside, despite my having to wade through toys and 'whatever' else is on the floor to get outside.
12:00 p.m: The boys and I have a fabulous time starting all of our flower seeds. (Mostly Kaleb just likes to scoop up the dirt.) I am so thrilled to be here for the summer, I start making big plans for my front porch and find hanging baskets and plant pots under the porches and around the premises. I start cleaning up the flower bed next to the front steps. Keagan squeals with delight when we find the dark soil rich with worms.
2:30: I realize that Kaleb is beyond tired, and I come in to rock him to sleep while Keagan is absorbed in a dinosaur puzzle.
3:15: Mom calls. Her motherly instinct must have been telling her I was having a bad day. It was really great to talk to her.
3:45: I sneak back outside to finish cleaning the flower bed.
4:00 My neighbor across the street yells, "You look ambitious. Did you guys decide to stay?" We'll at least be here for the summer I tell her. I'm relieved that she is keeping her distance because I haven't looked in the mirror today. hmmm....
4:20: My next door neighbor sees me madly hacking at the stubborn grass with my hoe (believe me, I know how to wield a hoe) and she comes outside and asks me in an 'are you okay?' 'should I call the authories?' kind of voice "What are you doing?"
"Hard work." I tell her. I explain that I've done nothing but hold my son for three days. We chat for a minute about our yards and then I say, "I'm sorry you have to see me like this, I just really needed to be outside today." Then she says in all seriousness, "Oh, don't worry, when schools out, I don't think I'll shower for a month either." ....right....
4:30: When she's gone I come inside the house, look in the mirror and realize what she is talking about. I'm embarrassed to make eye contact with myself. I fix my hair, and get back outside to FINISH THE JOB. ( I think that that is what I needed the most. The dishes are never done, the laundry is never done, the cooking is never done, the house is never clean... all of this is magnified when someone is not well. I wanted to get SOMETHING done!) I realize when the little 6 sq. ft. bed is clean that I miss getting my hands dirty like this.
4:45: I think of all the lead paint dust that I'm probably inhaling as I sweep off the porch. Why do people ever paint wood porches? I decide that it will be worth it in July when my front porch looks like the Garden of Eden.
5:30: Kaleb's fever has spiked once again. Medication. Sponge bath. Holding.
6:15: We run to the grocery store for mozzarella.
6:35: I decide that I better de-clutter the front room before Beau gets home.....we hear a diesel truck five blocks away... too late.
6:45: I jump in the shower and am throughly enjoying two minutes of QUIET hot water pouring over me.
6:47: "Oh, Shaunalee, bad news. We didn't get the Supplemental Agreement. We'll probabaly be gone by June."
6:47:10: I am asking myself, "Why on the day that I tell my mother that we'll be here all summer? Why on the day that I plant all of our flowers, clean out the flower beds, and plan my Garden of Eden? Why on the day that I buy a 36 pack of toilet paper???"
6:55: I cry the entire drive to Enrichment.
7:10: Enrichment is about simplifying. I wonder how I could simplify any more? She says, "Write on this paper what is most important to you." Testimony, Family, Health. "Okay, now write what is keeping you from doing these things." I think, This IS what I spend all my time doing and my life is STILL not simple.
7:40: We sit around a table for dessert (there are only 10 of us) and listen to the broken heart of a mother and her trial in the fight for her daughters soul. I can only imagine that keeping an easily-peer-influenced 14 year old daughter from having sex (even though ALL of her friends do it) is nothing short of a soul tormenting experience for a mother. My heart sank as she told us how these kids aren't even dating, or in love, they just do it because "it's popular."
8:55: I drive home and silently say a thankful prayer for my life of ease. My sleepless nights over a fever are NOTHING compared to sleepless-nights over concern for my child's spiritual welfare.
9:05: I hug and kiss my family.
FRIDAY:
4:30 a.m: I am awake checking Kaleb's temperature every minute. The thermometer actually reads, 105 degrees. Overload the kidney's once again.
5:30 a.m: Kaleb is not only awake, he's hyper and happy so we get up. It's Friday, officially, "Bring Daddy Cookies at Work Day."
It's going to be a really good day!
